Hate
by Simple-Minded Idiot
Summary: ...Because everyone knows how special Sasuke and Naruto are. They just don't have hot, raunchy 'sex'. They have hot, raunchy 'hate'sex. Sometimes, occasionally. Every now and then. Just for the heck of it, really. [NaruSasu] [a hint of KyuuMada]


Piece of advice... don't take it seriously. Really.

* * *

It was hot inside the room despite the fact that the cooling system was on its highest. Moans of varying pitches – male pitches, mind you – could be heard inside the current Hokage's office. The slapping of skin against skin could also be heard. The table made soft screeching noises as it moved every now and then. 

"Dobe!" Sasuke gasped. "You imbecile, MOVE!"

"Well pardon me for wanting you to adjust to it!" Naruto bit back as he wiggled a bit inside Sasuke.

"You don't need to baby me around! We both know that I'm no blushing little virgin!"

"I don't know which version of you I liked better. The blushing little virgin or the sarcastic and whiny expert."

Sasuke growled and hit Naruto's back with his foot. Naruto winced and then he glared at Sasuke. He moved out of Sasuke before he thrust in again, albeit much, much harsher this time. Sasuke moaned.

"You're sick, teme, _sick_," Naruto muttered. "You're the only person I know who gets off on pain."

"It's not my problem you're such a wuss," Sasuke said. "We're both ninja and you know that we ought to be used to the pain."

"So, what? Your way of coping with the pain is... being aroused by it? I call that sick. Sick!"

But regardless of what he said, Naruto still went inside Sasuke in the same, harsh way that he did a few minutes ago.

"Shut up! Like you should be talking," Sasuke said, "Mister let-me-bathe-you-in-stinky-ramen. And go faster. You're losing your touch."

"Fuck you, teme!" Naruto exclaimed. "And it's not exactly easy to jump your bones on a table!"

"You _are_ fucking me, dobe. Now move _again_ and do it _faster_ or I might just leave you for Gaara. 'Sides, it isn't as if you should be complaining. You're the one who suggested we do it here."

"Freaking masochist. Next time, we're doing it on a real bed." With that said, he thrust in harder than before. He buried himself to the hilt. Perhaps so much so that Sasuke felt as if he could feel Naruto's balls trying to wiggle inside as if they had a life of their own. Which would be a bit creepy, but it wasn't as if he would complain.

"Beds are boring."

"Oh, sorry," thrust, pant, "I forgot about your," gasp, "masochistic tendencies."

Sasuke let out what seemed to be the longest moan he would produce for that day, "Oh! There! And shut up."

"You know what, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"What did I tell about talking, dobe?" Sasuke shot back.

"I think that I should fuck you more. No matter what I do, you still end up being as tight as ever."

"Well," Sasuke drawled, "have you ever thought about that you aren't the great bed machine that you thought you were?"

"I hate you!" Soon enough, Naruto bit Sasuke on the shoulder. Really bit. Even drew out some blood.

Sasuke moaned. As expected... of a masochist. "Fucking cannibal."

"Boy, do you know it," Naruto purred.

Sasuke groaned. Goddammit. He didn't need this now. Not when he was so near and things were getting good! "I was not talking about you, Kyuubi, so go back to your... _batcave_ and let Naruto out again."

"Says the little gaylord!" Naruto-Kyuubi bit back. He really did bite though. Sasuke could testify to that. Everyone who would see the angry bruise on Uchiha's neck the next morning would testify to that, too.

"You're just jealous that you don't have a body to screw uncle with."

"Just... shut up, Uchiha. It isn't as if you aren't enjoying."

"And just give Naruto back."

"Fine, fine, whatever. But you owe me one nookie, Uchiha."

Naruto sighed before he licked the place that he – Kyuubi, really – had bitten. Sasuke merely growled as he raised his hips a bit, signaling Naruto to _just get on with it_ as they'd already had far too many interruptions.

"You really should keep that parasite of yours at bay," Sasuke commented as soon as Naruto went back to doing whatever pleasurable thing he had been doing before Kyuubi butted in.

"It's not exactly easy to do that, you know," Naruto grumbled.

"You're not just trying hard enough. You're getting lazier, you know. More like Nara. I also think that I see some flab down there. You ought to do more training."

Naruto's cheeks were painted red with embarrassment and anger. Goddamned Sasuke. What exactly made him want to get it on with the younger Uchiha – yes, one was right in assuming that Itachi was still alive and kicking and frolicking with the rest of the Akatsuki (read as : prostitute ring) – in the first place? He had forgotten by now.

Oh, right. He loved the guy.

"Whatever, teme," he replied.

Sasuke quirked a sweaty eyebrow.

"You sure are being calm about that," he said offhandedly.

Naruto merely shrugged. Then he, with much effort, of course, landed a peck on Sasuke's lips.

Sasuke winced a bit as his back was made more... flexible. But he returned Naruto's kiss. He got his legs out of their favorite perching place – Naruto's shoulders – and put his arms around Naruto's neck and pulled the boy closer, making the kiss more intense.

A little tongue there, more nudging here, and more nookie and hot, hot smex here and there. More nosebleeds from the audience. And then came the cuddling – of course, Sasuke _refused _to call it cuddling because Uchihas just didn't _cuddle_, hell, they even _damned_ the word – and the spooning and the subtle groping from Naruto.

All of that was done on the Hokage's table. Well, not that anyone minded that the oh-so-holy Hokage's table had been blasphemed. It wasn't as if Yondaime's own affairs weren't filled with raw ardor.

"Sasuke," Naruto suddenly said.

Sasuke hummed a response and unconsciously moved closer to his human heater.

"I... never mind," Naruto continued, a hot blush on his face.

"Me, too, dobe, me too," Sasuke said.

"Why do _you_ always get the last laugh?!"

"You sure don't hear me laughing."

"You're such an ass!"

"And you love me for it."

Naruto angrily huffed. But Sasuke was right there. Definitely no doubts about that one.

"I hate you," he muttered.

"Naruto," Sasuke started.

"What?"

"Go to sleep."

"You––!"

Sasuke then pushed Naruto off their makeshift bed and then sat up straight, his face twisting in pain.

"I'm going home," he said.

He then performed a transportation jutsu.

"Hey, hey, teme! Don't leave me here!" Naruto exclaimed before he, too, followed Sasuke into their room with a poof and a puff.

He had conveniently forgotten the piles of paperwork which Sakura would whack him with once she visited after her hospital round for the evening.

It was only minutes later before...

"Don't stop, dammit!"

Ah... youthful Hokages. What a pleasure to have them as hidden ninja village leaders.

* * *

Thank you for reading through this one. 

Comments are much appreciated. Please do point out any mistakes that you've managed to see. Any complaints, too.


End file.
